Pirates Press Mate
by foolon the hill
Summary: I suck a summaries,but theres this old pirate who wants to put a paper thing together...all the favs are hear! Hear are James Norrington and Ragetti's! please give me suggestions.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: don't own pirates never willcries I own Paul and his friends. Don't sue its just for fun. Read and review please and leave sugestionsPLEASE 

A pirate named Paul invents a magazine with our favorite pirates from the film, suggestions are welcome.

Will Turner the second

"Hi everyone out there! IM Paul and IM coming out with a paper called pirates press, each week will be looking for true pirates to interview. And maybe go on an adventure! waves IM hear aboard the Dutchmen to ask Captain Turner a few questions, looks at Bootstrap, he's standing on the side of the ship

Bootstrap: How'd you get on board?

Paul: Magic (starts humming) May I speak to Captain Turner if hes not to busy, See IM putting together a magazine or paper of sorts and id like to interview him.

Bootstrap tells Paul to follow him. They go into the captains cabin where Will is sitting looking over some maps,theres a globe to the right of Will witch Paul spins. Causing Turner to look up.

Paul: Hi IM Paul Id like to..Will cuts him off

Will: IM Know who you are lets get it done with. (motions him to sit down What kind of interview?

"What kind of interview...Its a survey if you like shall we get started?" Paul asked "You can write aye?" Will nods and Paul hands him the "survey" to take.

So I handed him it, he had some interesting things to say, I got off into the row boat has soon has posable, My mate Erik tells me "IM lucky must people only see the ship when they die" Yeah I guess so! So Hear it is just has Will answered it drum roll please the first edition of pirate press! All answers are Will's Everything you wanted to know well not everything.

Full Name: William Michael Turner 2

Sex:Male 25-35

Favorite saying: "Do you fear death?" IM sick of saying that.

Favorite color: Blue

Turn ons: Eyes, legs oh...

Turn off: bad breath, mean people

Kids? One but I haven't met him yet.

Favorite animal: Sea Turtles

Favorite drink: Red wine

Fill in the blank.  
My secret crush is (male or female Aye,Uhm about that...ITs dirty!!!

My secret fantasy is Not really a fantasy, but I do want to see Jack ride the sea turtles.

Most happiest moment When Elizabeth said yes

Least happiest moment: When Jones's stabbed me that was UN cool.

Worst thing someone could do to me: Use me has "leverage "

Best thing someone did for me rescuing me from Barbossa's cursed gold. Thanks Jack

Most embarrassing moment was: When I fell on my ass in front of the crew I still have the bruise.

Person I hate the most is This is a toss up Barbossa shifty bastard

Favorite cuss word Bastard

The one thing I wish I can find or do is Be with Elizabeth forever!  
"That was fun." Will smiles and goes back to his maps.

"Well, what did you think? I hope you like it, suggestions are welcome hit the review button even if you hate it, don't blame me blame the author next chapter where going to see if we can find Captain Sparrow see you soon mates" Paul nods

I know it sucks, Like it hate it review it, suggest it I'll use itI promise

CLICK THE BUTTON!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer I don't own POTC I do own Paul and his pals. Don't sue its just for fun. Read and review please and leave sugestionsPLEASE (told from Paul POV

A pirate named Paul invents a magazine with our favorite pirates from the film, suggestions are welcome.

Mr. Sparrow

"Hi all Paul hear, IM in Totuga today lovely weather were having! Where luck would have it I ran into Jack Sparrow, opps Captain Jack Sparrow. I saw him at a table at the Faithful Bride and asked if I could join him. He kind of looked at me funny, but agreed. That was close, Hears what happened lads and lasses."

"Nice weather aye. IM Paul" I try not to sound like a dimwit, He pause from drinking his rum "Aye what can I do for you mate? Wanna join me crew?" Jack grins. I laugh "No IM of interviewing any pirate I can find you see IM doing a paper, It's called Pirates Press and I have..." He cuts me off "A survey IM getting em to do."

"All right I'll take Ye survey savvy?" Jack takes a sip rather a gulp of rum.

"Uh not to sound rude but you can write? Right? " I feel like an idiot "Or I can ask you and you can tell me.'I was confident before and for some reason IM just nervous. He rolls his eyes at me "Aye."

"Well, needless to say that was interesting, He asked me if I wanted a tour of The Black Pearl I nod Erik thinks IM nuts, but hey lads if Captain Jack Sparrow asked you if you want a tour of hid ship it's best to say yes" And has promised hear is Jack's survey, has always all answers are his, even if there a little far fetched or silly."

"Drum Roll hear- is the second pirates press for your enjoyment. Next up IM off to the locker to interview Mr. Davy Jones himself (shudders) and also Bootstrap. And a Big THANK YOU TO ZILLAZ for the suggestion!"

Full Name: Jack Christopher Sparrow

Sex:Male 30-40

Favorite saying: Savvy.

Favorite color: Red

Turn ons: Breathing

Turn offs: Not breathing

Favorite animal: Sparrows

Favorite drink: Rum

Fill in the blank.  
My secret crush is (male or female/ Elizabeth with Anna Marie a close second

My secret fantasy is/ Do you really want me to answer this?

Most happiest moment/ Getting the Black Pearl back and shooting Barbossa

Lest happiest moment:/ Him stealing my ship YET ONCE AGAIN!

Worst thing someone could do to me:/ Maroon me TWICE,IM not happy about that savvy.

Best thing someone did for me/ Will saving me from the hang mans nose.

Most embarrassing moment was:/Barbossa having a big telescope than me but I got Evan with him.

Person I hate the most is/ Cuttler Becket comes to mind but he's dead, therefore I'll go with Barbossa.

Favorite cuss word/ Hm I got an opportunity hear. I'd say shit.

The one thing I wish I can find or do is /Find the fountain of youth, One thing I wish I could do ask me after I've found it savvy.

"Well, there you have it!!" IM off to the locker err mates wish us luck.

Like it, hate it, review it, suggest it ill use it!  
THANK YOU TO ZILLAZ thanks for the review and thank for the suggestion.  
Next chappie is Davy Jones.

CLICK THE BUTTON!!!! 


	3. Mr Davy Jones

Disclaimer: I don't own POTC I do own Paul and his friends. Thank you to my reviewersPlease read and review, make a suggestion!

Note: IM trying to be happy folks I post another chapter soon, my horse just died.  
Lads and lasses Mr.Jones

Paul: We mates hear I am in the locker, nothing but sand lots of sand! We've come to find Davy Jones to interview him or rather get him to take our survey.

Davy:Come to join my crew? In the locker how sweet of you.

Paul: (jumps) Where did you come from?

Davy:(smiles) My locker my rules, what is you want? Who are you?

Paul: smiles and extends his hand IM Paul and IM putting together a magazine of pirates I got a survey for you to take. Unless you have something better to do.

Jones nods and snatches the paper out of Paul's hand and began reading it. He asked him for a pen. Paul throws the pen at him and watches has Jones writes and chuckles to himself.Davy then throws the pen and paper at him and began to leave he goes on another ship that stuck hear. When its said and done Paul and his two friends Rusty and Erik just want to leave.

But Paul turns to the camra and says his speech. "Aye IM glad thats over,that was bit weird he's doesn't talk much and I fined him scary. So hear it is the pirates press third edtion,has always answers are Jones and looks like he added another question."

Full Name: Davy Marcus Jones

Sex: Yes please!

Favorite saying: "Do you fear death?" I love that so much!

Favorite color: brown Turn ons: The sea, my love Tia

Turn off: Crabs

Kids? None

Favorite animal: My beloved krakan

Favorite drink: Who needs drinks when you have the sea

Fill in the blank.  
My secret crush is (male or female I really don't know!

My secret fantasy is : To rule the world.but IM dead and I can't even get out of my own locker!

Most happiest moment: When Tia told me that she'd give me her heart!

Lest happiest moment: When Sparrow took the chest!

Worst thing someone could do to me: Stab me, or make me listen to bad music.

Best thing someone did for me: Put me in my own locker! Not cute or funny!!!

Most embarrassing moment was: Eating sushi boy it was nasty.

Person I hate the most is: I don't discriminate I hate everyone!!!!!!

Favorite cuss word: Mother fucking bull shit

The one thing I wish I can find or do : To get out of hear and kill Turner and Sparrow!!! Wait Turner took my place so its Sparrow I'll be killing. Or hope to

IM adding another question

Do ye play a musical instrument: I play the organ

Top that! Please someone get me out of hear! If I hear Beckett sing one more time I will go insane.

"Well, there you have it lad and lasses next up we chat up the little man Cuttler Beckett" Paul waves and walks to the shop in the sand.

Like it, hate it, review it, suggest it I'll use it. Special thanks to Zillac!!!!!

CLICK IT!!!! 


	4. Mr Gibbs

DISCLAIMER : Don't own POTC. Paul is mine.

Note: I don't think anyone likes this story,I think you all to those who have r&r Paul this chapter is for you. No BS I'll get right to it.

Paul hear IM out of the locker whew that was tough, will go back soon to find cuttler. I found Gibbs and gave my survey, hear it is:

Mr. Gibbs

Full Name: Joshamee Gibbs

Sex:Male 45+

Favorite saying: Frightful bad luck

Favorite color: Blue

Turn ons: Woman in general.

Turn off: People who turn all bonny in the moonlight

Kids? None that I know of

Favorite animal: Ragetti, Oh you said animal.

Favorite drink:RUM

Fill in the blank.  
My secret crush is (male or female Annamaria My secret fantasy is To make love to Ananmaria out in the open for all to watch.

Most happiest moment: Bring back Jack from the locker

Lest happiest moment: When Jack slapped me in front of those wenches!

Worst thing someone could do to me: Throw me to the pigs!

Best thing someone did for me: Give me rum

Most embarrassing moment was: Trying to take orders from two captains, its confusing!

Person I hate the most is : Right now its Raggetii he stole my rum!

Favorite cuss word: Asshole head

The one thing I wish I can find or do is: Have my own ship.

Are ye musical? No, I can't even sing! 


	5. Elizabeth Turner

Disclaimer: Don't own POTC

Hear is Mrs. Turner's survey hope you enjoy. Becket is next I hope" Paul runs into a wall is passes out

Full Name: Elizabeth China Swan Turner

Sex: Female last time I checked

Favorite saying: Yours going to want it

Favorite color: brown

Turn ons: Pirates

Turn offs: Sea goddess

Kids? One Will the 3rd

Favorite animal: Monkeys

Favorite drink: Rum has long has its Jack's

Fill in the blank.

My secret crush is (male or female : I really wan to try Barbossa out!

Most happiest moment: Killing Cutler.

Lest happiest moment: Undead pirates!

Worst thing someone could do to me: Say IM not King!

Best thing someone did for me: Make me king thanks Jack

Most embarrassing moment was: Having such gas AWE, omg stuck really bad!

Person I hate the most is : Myself! I should have went with Jack!

Favorite cuss word: Daft!

The one thing I wish I can find or do is: Find that stupid Fountain of youth!

Are ye musical?! Sort of. I played Teague's guitar well! 


	6. Barbossa

Disclaimer: don't own pirates never willcries I own Paul and his friends. Don't sue its just for fun. Read and review please and leave suggestions PLEASE Thank you!!

"IM BACK again!!" Paul waves and tries to walk. "I have a nasty bump on me head." Turning the corner he hears a commotion. "I know I said becket was next bur I found someone better!"

"Look it's Barbossa lets get him to take my survey." Paul runs and falls right on his face in front of the captain with hand up paper in the air. Barbossa takes is and laughs.

" I best be getting a pen." he points to Paul who is still on the ground. "Having bad luck has of late hear you go. Answers are Barbossa's.

Full Name: Hector Charles Barbossa

Sex:Male

Favorite saying: You best be ..aye Blooming cockroaches

Favorite color: green

Turn ons: My hat! My good looks!

Turn off: Id say goddesses who are in a foul mood.

Kids? None 0

Favorite animal: Crabs!

Favorite drink: Red wine and lots of rum!

Fill in the blank.

My secret crush is (male or female I hope no one reads this but its Jack!

My secret fantasy is: To be rich rich and live forever!

Most happiest moment: When I got rid of Sparrow hes like a cockroach he came back!

Least happiest moment: You try having the runs on a ship!!!

Worst thing someone could do to me: Steal me hat and me apples.

Best thing someone did for me: Bringing me back from the dead!

Most embarrassing moment was: Having a nasty bout of the runs! Sparrow I know it was him, he claims he didn't do it -slipped a exlax in my soup.

Person I hate the most is : Jack Sparrow

Favorite cuss word: Heartless Bastard

The one thing I wish I can find or do is : The maps Sparrow stole.

Ye Musical?: NO

"Well, what did you think? I hope you like it, suggestions are welcome hit the review button even if you hate it, don't blame me blame the author next chapter where going to see if we can find Cutler Becket see you soon mates" Paul nods

I know it sucks, Like it hate it review it, suggest it I'll use itI promise

CLICK THE BUTTON! 


	7. Mr James Norrington

I don't own POTC wished I did. I do own Paul and Rusty and whoever happens to show up.

"Hi mates, it's Paul we are back (shudder) in the locker I blame Rusty."

Rusty: "Not my fault, I did fine Mr. James Norrington."

Paul: That's right you did." slaps Rusty upside the head

James: "May I help you?" Looks down at the ground

Paul: "Yes you may I have a survey id like you to take IM put a paper together." hands James the survey

"While he take the survey thanks to the reviewers the author is sorry she hasn't updated something to do with her life tsk has always ALL answers are Norrington's and know you wont be finding out what kind of underwear he is wearing!"

James: Can we get on with it, IM due for tea with Jones and Cutler. Hear you go, have a nice day!"

Rusty: "Hear we go! IM so excited!

Full Name: James Paul Norrington

Sex:Male

Favorite saying: "I bet you do"

Favorite color: Red

Turn ons: Hair, tea, nice teeth, lips.

Turn off: bad teeth, people who are drunk all the time!

Kids? 0

Favorite animal: My pet rock.

Least favorite animal: Something in the water id imagine

Favorite drink: Rum

Fill in the blank.

My secret crush is (male or female Eliziabeth Swan or it's Turner now

My secret fantasy is: To rid the world of pirates, or mainly Jack sparrow!

Most happiest moment: Was when Elizabeth kissed me.

Least happiest moment: Dying

Worst thing someone could do to me: Call me a pirate, or call me ice cream head. I really hate that and it hurts me.

Best thing someone did for me: When Sparrow help me catch all those pirates. To bad he got away.

Most embarrassing moment was: The hurricane. Very foul!

Person I hate the most is : See above!

Favorite cuss word: Oh dear! Id say Sh&t.

The one thing I wish I can find or do is : .Be alive again, get out of this horrible place! If I have to listen to Jones sing again or Becket's whining.

Ye Musical?: Yes I used to play piano.

"There you go, how was it? Like it hate it please drop the author a line LEAVE SUGESTIONS who shall me and Rusty fine next? Pintal? Cutler? " Paul waves then slaps Rusty once again. 


	8. Mr Ragetti

Don't own POTC! I do Own Paul and Rusty and whom ever!

Paul: "We got back from the locker just in time,Rusty who do I spy with my little eye? Where is Abe?"

Rusty: " Your mother? (Sighs) Uh-oh we left him in the locker!"

Paul: "Oh thats nice, anyhow who is that over there?"

Rusty: "Where are we again? (looks around and figuares it out Yeah lets get him and the other guy, thats the one eye guy isn't it"?

Paul: "Aye! Ragetti you moron!"

Rusty : "Mr. Ragetti we'd meaning me and this is my mate Paul would like you to take a survey for us,were putting a paper together."

Ragetti: "Uh that right? I can't read."

Paul: "Thats OK! I'll Tell you and you tell me your answers. Rum? Wheres the other fellow?"

Ragetti: "AYE! Well I bout do it eh. In there (points to the whore house)"

"Hears Ragetti's survey ALL answes are his and blah blah you lads and lasses know the drill."

Full Name: Johntan Richard Ragetti

Sex:Male

Favorite saying: I don't know.

Favorite color: Black

Turn ons: Woman

Turn off: Men

Kids? No

Favorite animal: Dolpfins

Least favorite animal: Crabs

Favorite drink: Rum

Fill in the blank.

My secret crush is (male or female : I really like Elizabeth but there is the pretty girl i know from Captain Kim's ship shes got a wodden eye has well.

My secret fantasy is: That girl on Kim's ship.

Most happiest moment: Was meeting Pintel.

Least happiest moment: When I had to give Captain's Barbossa's pice of eight back,dreadfull that was.

Worst thing someone could do to me: Lock me away and give the key to a dog!

Best thing someone did for me: I don't know! Kiss me on me cheek.

Most embarrassing moment was: Having a fork stick out me eye, or when Miss Turner poked it.

Person I hate the most is : Anyone in RED navy

Favorite cuss word: butt-hole

The one thing I wish I can find or do is : Have a glass eye that fits right! Captain Sparrow has found a few but they hurt god awful like.

Ye Musical?: Nope 


End file.
